Something Has Gone Terribly Awry

Okay, so I spend too much time watching television. I'll admit that.

There was a commercial for cellulite cream on today. And as I watched, I realized that the models in this commercial were teenagers with really skinny legs. I suppose the message is meant to be that, if you use this cellulite cream that you will have skinny, young legs. A bit outrageous, don't you think? But then I realized that another perspective was that when the teenagers and twenty-somethings see this commercial they'll think that, since their legs aren't long and skinny, they must have something wrong with them and they need this cream. What are we teaching our daughters?

I'll admit that I gaze longingly at the youthful skin in short shorts and mini skirts that I see downtown. And wish I appreciated my young skin when I had it. It's not bad now...Just not as resilient as it used to be---the pillow marks on my face take longer to fade in the mornings than they used to. It makes me understand that I didn't have a clear perspective about myself when I was young. So much of our society focuses on beauty and commercials send messages that we are not perfect and, therefore, ugly or worthless. I wish we could, somehow, move away from that perspective and really allow ourselves to see who we and each other really are and know that we are always perfect.

Have you ever noticed

That the theme music for Kentucky Fried Chicken is "Sweet Home Alabama"?

Being a Friend

I have a friend who seriously needs some therapy. She has absolutely no self-esteem and tries to fill herself up with food and objects. She's smart and funny but never seems to be satisfied with her life. And when it doesn't work out the way she thinks it should, she changes her surroundings...not herself. I am constantly amazed at how it is always someone else's fault. She has so much pain inside that she lives in constant fear of letting it go...she's had it for so long what would she be then? I think it's part of her identity and if that pain goes away she wouldn't know what to do with herself. The worst part, for me, is that I only hear from her when she's alienated everyone else in her life or the people in her life aren't telling her what she wants to hear. It can be so frustrating. I have told her more than once that she needs therapy and she always finds excuses as to why it won't work for her...it's because she leaves as soon as they start getting at the truth. I truly wish she could find some help and find a way to be happy. And I know that I can't find it for her. It really breaks my heart.

You are always much more...

Christians Annexing Jewish Food

I was in the grocery store today.--How many of my posts start with that sentence? --And came across a product that made me do a double-take and then laugh out loud. In fact, I laughed about it in numerous aisles as I shopped which, as usual, caused shoppers to give me concerned glances and a wide berth.

What caused this outburst? Separate from the kosher foods which, by the way, is in the International Food aisle, was something very similar to matzo: BIBLE BREAD!!!!

Made based on the recipe in the Book of Exodus.

Good Lord!

Letter Writing

I've found an outlet for my need to write letters. REAL Letters that go through the postal service and are delivered to mailboxes and everything.

There's this website called The Letter Project. Rick started it because he enjoys writing letters and knows how fun it is to get real mail. So all you have to do is request a letter and he'll write one to you. I first saw his link on Post Secret and the idea really intrigued me. So I sent him a book of stamps (if you want to help out, that's a really good way to do it) and asked if he needed help writing. As it turns out he did. And, after a 45 minute phone interview, he agreed to let me be one of the few people who gets to write letters to those who request them. Cool, huh? I have written 4 letters so far and have a goal of at least 5 to 7 letters a week. There is a backlog of thousands of requests, so that's only a drop in the bucket. It's really an exercise in creative writing and also gives me a chance to improve my penmanship.

"Halfpint! Get in the wagon!"

Yes, I watch Little House every once in a while. When it was on in prime time I would plop myself in the floor in front of the TV every Monday night with my box of tissues. I wanted to be Laura, especially when she got older and married Almonzo. He was soooooo cute! I seem to remember that my first boyfriend, Kurt, looked a little like Almonzo.

So, when surfing, I will find myself stopping to watch Little House and reliving some wonderful memories.

And sometimes getting a good laugh.

Paper or Plastic?

Went to the grocery store yesterday (I know, it's not Sunday. What's wrong with me? I ran out of food, that's what). And had this great cashier, Ashleigh, who asked me (they usually don't anymore) if I wanted paper or plastic. I told her paper and was curious to see how she would pack my groceries...she did a great job! $100 worth of groceries in 3, count 'em 3 bags! I'm sure that the same amount of groceries would have taken up at least 10 plastic bags not counting the ones that they had to double up because they will break if you put more than one can in them. I was very complimentary of her packing skills and left the store in a great mood. Funny how I can let something as trivial as plastic bags affect my mood. But they do. Oh, they do.

Tools Used Today

Pen
Computer
Hammer
Wire Cutters
Rake
Wheel Barrow
Sledge Hammer
Chain Saw

Something everyone needs to hear:

"You matter."

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This is sad.

Laying Groundwork

Pays off.
I've been trying to get out to WCU to give a workshop, mentor, what have you, for the past year. It was becoming really frustrating. However, persistence has paid off. I had a meeting today with Claire Eye, and adjunct professor (she was also the lead in my BFA Thesis show, Coastal Disturbances) and we both came away so excited about the prospect of forming a relationship with the school that we had a hard time shutting up about all the things I could do. I can't wait to get my hands on fresh, young students and mentor them about the "real world" and what to expect when being a theatre professional. One of my pet peeves with regards to the education I paid for out there is that I was never taught how to get a job. There were so many things lacking in my theatre education and I really wanted to be able to teach (tell) students what they are in for. YAY!

And another thing: I am now the Stage Manager for NC Stage Company here, in Asheville. Finally! I get to do my thing in a great theatre in Asheville! That won't start until until September, though, so I have to get a "real job" for the summer. If any of you know of anything out there, please let me know.

I'm Proud of Myself

A small personal victory. You see, being raised in Asheville and having truly bigoted family members makes it difficult, sometimes, to do what is right when the racist jokes start flying around after a few beers--did I mention REDNECKS? At least this time it wasn't a family member, but the friend of one. I was at a gathering last night and one of they guys started telling a joke. He actually used the "N" word. I was appalled. As soon as I heard it I told him to stop the joke right there, that it was unacceptable. He continued the joke. I couldn't believe it. I told him again, more forcefully and then walked into the kitchen. He left the party 3 minutes later.

It may sound small and the obvious thing to do, but I don't think that I have ever actually told someone that it was unacceptable. I did the right thing and am proud.

Yay me.

Guy Speak

So, when a guy says that he doesn't want to hurt you and wants to slow down, that means that he really doesn't want to see you anymore, right?

I thought so.

Craggy Gardens in the Mist

Last Saturday I went to Craggy Gardens (just south of Mt. Mitchell on the Parkway) for a little hike. If you haven't been on the top of a mountain when it's raining or misting, you really have missed some of the most beautiful scenery there is. When it's foggy you can't see very far and, therefore you have to look closely at what's around you. I love it for so many reasons. Usually, no one is around and it's very quiet. Sound travels differently in the fog, so you can also hear the slightest rustle of feather or fur. The pearlescent quality of the light reminds me of Gothic romance and and rolling moors. Breathtaking.

Do I Have the Right to be Offended?

I am SM for a local ballet production of Porgy & Bess. The story is about what it meant to be black on Gulla Island in the Charleston area. It's not a happy show but has some wonderful moments. The opera was the first all black opera and cast on Broadway in the 1930s. However, it was written by two Jewish guys and white guy from Charleston. Interesting, huh?

My problem with this ballet is that neither Porgy nor Bess is black and there are 3 black dancers (two of whom are characters who are killed) in the company. Even the band is all white. So, I don't know how I feel about a bunch of privileged white girls dancing in a show about something that they could never empathize with. I guess that's why it's acting of a sorts. They are playing characters and expressing themselves through their bodies. Am I overreacting? Does it matter? And do I have the right to be offended since I, too, have no idea what it might be like to be a black person in the South in the 20s?

I'll have to think some more about it.

A Small (Maybe) Rant

I had heard a rumor the other day that the artistic director of a company here, in A'ville, read the email of one of his employees and then confronted the employee with the info he had read there. Now, to be fair, the employee was using the AD's computer and hadn't physically logged out of the site, so when the AD went to the website, the wrong account came up. However, the email subject had the employee's name in it AND the AD had to actually click on the email to open it up. I was SHOCKED to have this rumor confirmed. Shocked in that the AD is a born-again Christian and is very vocal about his beliefs. His logo even has a cross in it with rays emanating from it...so his religion is prominently part of his daily life. BUT very few of his actions exemplify what I perceive to be Christian. Don't get me wrong, he's not an Asshole, per se, he's a hypocrite who seems to believe that, because he is one of the Chosen Ones, he can do whatever he wants and it's okay. I am completely confounded by this. In fact, I have more trouble with his way of manipulation because it's more underhanded and wimpy. It makes me just want to slap him! The thing that really makes me mad is that he takes up so much of my brain time. My anger does not affect him in any way and does nothing to make the situation better. This is something I will have to reflect on and find a way through.

I'm a Groupie

I can't believe that I almost didn't work this concert. When you hear, "It's 2 violins and a double bass," you don't think, "Oh my god. I have to go see this!" I am so glad that I agreed to do this. The name of the group is TIME FOR THREE. Three young, very talented men who can play like nobody's business. As you can see by their photo, they are not what you would expect and their music is a combination of classical, jazz, country & bluegrass. Check out their website.
And did I mention that they are hot? Maybe it's my hormones talking, but they had me mezmerized after the first 30 seconds. If they are ever in your area, make sure you go to see them. You will not regret it.

Does my Butt Look Fat from this angle?

Women vs. Men

So today I went to Home Depot to buy some good work gloves. I was working on cutting a fence in my side yard and was getting blisters with the big garden gloves I was using. I get to the aisle with the work gloves and find what I might think is the perfect pair. Leather palm, stretchy everywhere else and a nice color. Now just to find my size. The card they were attached to said, "Size Chart On Back." I turn the card over and find out that I'm a medium. Great! That shouldn't be too hard to find. Most women are probably a medium. I look through all the gloves and realize that they are all the same size: W. For WOMEN. I really can't believe this. I mean there is a size chart on the back, why put a chart on an item that only comes in one size? But, alas, it was true. Unfortunately, the pair I wanted were way too small and I was becoming very frustrated.
Now, right next to the gloves just for women, were the gloves just for men...would you believe that they came in different sizes? Why is that? I mean, haven't any of the people who purchase merchandise for HD ever stepped into the world? Have they not seen that women are many different sizes just as men are? And I can attest, there are many women in the area who are much smaller and larger than me, so wouldn't it make sense to carry gloves in different sizes?
I did find a pair that fit me and they work very well. But it would have been a lot easier if they had more than just one size. It's almost as bad as the fact that the outdoor clothing & gear companies' women's clothing only go to size 12 or 14...and they run small, so if I was actually a size 14, I wouldn't be comfy in THEIR size 14...do big girls not want to hike, camp or rock climb?