Craggy Gardens in the Mist

Last Saturday I went to Craggy Gardens (just south of Mt. Mitchell on the Parkway) for a little hike. If you haven't been on the top of a mountain when it's raining or misting, you really have missed some of the most beautiful scenery there is. When it's foggy you can't see very far and, therefore you have to look closely at what's around you. I love it for so many reasons. Usually, no one is around and it's very quiet. Sound travels differently in the fog, so you can also hear the slightest rustle of feather or fur. The pearlescent quality of the light reminds me of Gothic romance and and rolling moors. Breathtaking.

Do I Have the Right to be Offended?

I am SM for a local ballet production of Porgy & Bess. The story is about what it meant to be black on Gulla Island in the Charleston area. It's not a happy show but has some wonderful moments. The opera was the first all black opera and cast on Broadway in the 1930s. However, it was written by two Jewish guys and white guy from Charleston. Interesting, huh?

My problem with this ballet is that neither Porgy nor Bess is black and there are 3 black dancers (two of whom are characters who are killed) in the company. Even the band is all white. So, I don't know how I feel about a bunch of privileged white girls dancing in a show about something that they could never empathize with. I guess that's why it's acting of a sorts. They are playing characters and expressing themselves through their bodies. Am I overreacting? Does it matter? And do I have the right to be offended since I, too, have no idea what it might be like to be a black person in the South in the 20s?

I'll have to think some more about it.

A Small (Maybe) Rant

I had heard a rumor the other day that the artistic director of a company here, in A'ville, read the email of one of his employees and then confronted the employee with the info he had read there. Now, to be fair, the employee was using the AD's computer and hadn't physically logged out of the site, so when the AD went to the website, the wrong account came up. However, the email subject had the employee's name in it AND the AD had to actually click on the email to open it up. I was SHOCKED to have this rumor confirmed. Shocked in that the AD is a born-again Christian and is very vocal about his beliefs. His logo even has a cross in it with rays emanating from it...so his religion is prominently part of his daily life. BUT very few of his actions exemplify what I perceive to be Christian. Don't get me wrong, he's not an Asshole, per se, he's a hypocrite who seems to believe that, because he is one of the Chosen Ones, he can do whatever he wants and it's okay. I am completely confounded by this. In fact, I have more trouble with his way of manipulation because it's more underhanded and wimpy. It makes me just want to slap him! The thing that really makes me mad is that he takes up so much of my brain time. My anger does not affect him in any way and does nothing to make the situation better. This is something I will have to reflect on and find a way through.

I'm a Groupie

I can't believe that I almost didn't work this concert. When you hear, "It's 2 violins and a double bass," you don't think, "Oh my god. I have to go see this!" I am so glad that I agreed to do this. The name of the group is TIME FOR THREE. Three young, very talented men who can play like nobody's business. As you can see by their photo, they are not what you would expect and their music is a combination of classical, jazz, country & bluegrass. Check out their website.
And did I mention that they are hot? Maybe it's my hormones talking, but they had me mezmerized after the first 30 seconds. If they are ever in your area, make sure you go to see them. You will not regret it.

Does my Butt Look Fat from this angle?

Women vs. Men

So today I went to Home Depot to buy some good work gloves. I was working on cutting a fence in my side yard and was getting blisters with the big garden gloves I was using. I get to the aisle with the work gloves and find what I might think is the perfect pair. Leather palm, stretchy everywhere else and a nice color. Now just to find my size. The card they were attached to said, "Size Chart On Back." I turn the card over and find out that I'm a medium. Great! That shouldn't be too hard to find. Most women are probably a medium. I look through all the gloves and realize that they are all the same size: W. For WOMEN. I really can't believe this. I mean there is a size chart on the back, why put a chart on an item that only comes in one size? But, alas, it was true. Unfortunately, the pair I wanted were way too small and I was becoming very frustrated.
Now, right next to the gloves just for women, were the gloves just for men...would you believe that they came in different sizes? Why is that? I mean, haven't any of the people who purchase merchandise for HD ever stepped into the world? Have they not seen that women are many different sizes just as men are? And I can attest, there are many women in the area who are much smaller and larger than me, so wouldn't it make sense to carry gloves in different sizes?
I did find a pair that fit me and they work very well. But it would have been a lot easier if they had more than just one size. It's almost as bad as the fact that the outdoor clothing & gear companies' women's clothing only go to size 12 or 14...and they run small, so if I was actually a size 14, I wouldn't be comfy in THEIR size 14...do big girls not want to hike, camp or rock climb?

Birthday Party

Yesterday was the surprise party in celebration of my sister-in-law, Kathy's 50th birthday. Here are some photos:

The Birthday Girl and her Cake.

Me and my niece, Shelli. She and her sister, Shannon, put together this shindig. She's also the mom of the cutest little boy in the world:


At 20 Months, he's a hard one to catch on film.
Kathy, me and baby Ella. Ella is the newest in the family at 6 weeks old. Already she is very dramatic and expressive with her hands.

And she's learning to wink! (That's my brother, Dennis, holding her)

Contra Dancing

I went contra dancing Friday with my friend, Dawn. It was the first time for both of us and we had a blast! As always, I seem to look for lessons in my life experiences. I have to few to contemplate from this experience.

Lesson 1: Letting go and letting someone lead is a difficult thing for me.
Lesson 2: Letting it be okay when a leader is not so excellent is harder.
Lesson 3: There are a bunch of diverse, interesting people in Asheville that I judge because of appearance.
Lesson 4: Being okay with an unfamiliar man's hands on your body every 30 seconds or so is another difficult thing for me.
Lesson 5: I don't care if you grew up in Massachusetts, rude and inconsiderate is rude and inconsiderate wherever you are.

My face hurt from smiling so much, though, and I recommend it to anyone who might enjoy an evening of easy companionship and dancing.

Thanks, Dawn, for asking me to go and thanks, Katy, for talking about it years ago in a way that made me not find an excuse not to go.

The Problem with Family is...

They live too near!
Tonight I had male company for dinner at my house. Nothing big, I was hungry, he was hungry and I didn't feel like eating out. Well, first of all, I had to introduce him to the boys in the garage so they wouldn't give me a hard time. No biggie. They get the idea that Connie's bathroom is off limits for the evening. Then Big Bro Bill comes by. At least he knocks. Christopher sometimes doesn't. Anyway, he sees I have company, I introduce them, Bill asks his question, I answer it thinking that's that and he'll go away. NOPE! He sits, offers me some of his Reece's Pieces and starts to launch into something family oriented. He had no clue that he might not be welcome for an extended discussion. I had to kick him out. It was funny and embarrassing and cute all at the same time. I know that I'm well protected around here. Not a bad place to be when you're a single woman negotiating the world of internet dating.

Well....

This one speaks for itself:

Good night, and good luck...

I can't complain about having tried this Internet dating thing. After all, it has been quite a learning experience. I learned that honest, intelligent, straightforward, common sense people have given way to shallow, rude, dishonest, self-centered weirdo freaks. No one can say what they mean and mean what they say anymore. Oh you say how much you hate dishonesty and game playing, but you just can't live up to your own expectations. There's a description for that. It's called being a hypocrite. I've had enough. You have shifted my desires from romance and companionship to blissful bachelorhood in all of its uncomplicated and freewheeling glory. Ladies, you're not worth the trouble. There are too many noble and facinating things in the world in which to be involved to waste any more time on dull females who think of American Idol as high art and themselves as the center of the universe. Good night, and good luck.
Very sincerely, Another jaded single male.

It's rather sad that a seemingly articulate 36-year old man can have such a strongly negative reaction towards women. I daresay that he won't be getting many dates with this message in his profile. It's a crazy cyber-space world.

More on Online Dating

Pet peeve: If you are going to post your photo(s) on the website, PLEASE make sure that at least one of them shows you without your sunglasses on! I may not be typical, but I would venture to guess that most women would react more favorably if they could see your eyes. What are you hiding behind those sunglasses?

Oh, and keep your shirt on unless you are at the beach or in a boat.

Computer Dating

You know, when the guy's profile says that he's 5 feet tall and you are hoping that it was a typo, make sure you ask before meeting.

It wasn't a typo.

Lesson for the Day

Don't go clothes shopping after a big meal and in full-blown PMS bloat.


It does not make for a fun experience.

Remember that Snow?

Not the one yesterday, but the one last week. This is the tree in my yard. Pretty, isn't it?

Momma Osprey

There are a number of Osprey nests at Lake Russell where we were fishing. This is a Momma Osprey just before she decided that we were not good to have around her babies. She kept flying around, trying to lure us from the nest.

Lesbian Dreams

I went fishing (no, really---FISHING) last weekend with my brothers and a bunch of their friends. It was what they call a tournament. You pay 40 bucks, you fish from 7:00 am to 4:00 pm and whoever has the most poundage in fish wins and whoever has the biggest fish wins, too. I didn't do too badly for a Once-a-year fisher person. I caught 2 fish. One was a keeper at 14 inches and 1.5 pounds:

Ohhhh....Sexy!

Anyway, back at the camp, I was surrounded by 13 beer swilling, vodka pushing, skoal dipping, middle aged men who were very happy to NOT have their wives about for the weekend. I think I could have written a sociology paper on my observations. Don't get me wrong, they were all great and I had my book for company when the "faggit" jokes got out of hand.

I think that I now understand why men have to get away from women and vice-versa. The men really DO have to act like high-school boys (especially if they were all athletes) and do wacky boy stuff (Don't tell them I called them boys. It might hurt their feelings). And make sure you have that bloody mary even if you told them no 10 times. And look sheepish when they remember a girl is in their midst. I assured them that I could probably embarrass them with my bawdiness, so they should relax and be themselves. They finally were and I retreated to the safety of the van, my book and the air mattress....only to have dreams about girls kissing...Go figure.

Very Interesting

It's no secret that I engage in online personals. I met a couple of guys when I lived in St. Louis via Match.com and also had a couple of encounters here with the same service. I think, though, that I have found the secret to online dating, or whatever you want to call it: Don't put down too much information. Odd, huh?

When I was on Match, I spent a lot of time trying to convey in 1,000 characters or less who I was, what I was looking for and all that blather. It was very important to me to not present myself in a false light. Well, I just didn't have much luck with that tack. I met a couple of nice guys, but I was not even given the time of day by quite a few that probably wouldn't have minded going out with me. And, in the usual female way, I took it personally and somehow figured that I wasn't good enough. Forget this online dating thing!!!! Besides, all I wanted was to get out, meet some nice guys and, possibly, strike up a romance. Not too much to ask, is it?

In a fit of pique, I changed services to Yahoo personals. I had one photo of myself that I liked and I filled out the "About Me" multiple choice section honestly and the "About Him" section honestly without being too picky (I mean, a college grad under 47 who doesn't smoke really isn't too much to ask for). I wrote a two sentence description saying that I'm hardworking, I like to hike, talk and listen to NPR and threw caution to the wind.

I have had a much higher percentage of guys contact me. It's crazy! And the best part is that they are all, pretty much, in my age range (I was married to someone 11 years older than me, I have no desire to date someone that old now--I was also spoiled by dating someone 6 years younger than me most recently and have an appreciation for the Non-Viagra set).

In the past 5 days I have been on two "get to know you" dates and there's a second date (maybe it's a REAL date) coming up in the next couple of weeks. So, if any of you out there are thinking of trying the online personals, Less is more. But you have to post a photo. A lot of guys automatically think that you are either 800 lbs or are hiding some kind of disfigurement when you don't have a photo.

Advice from a successful online dater.

Well...Poo

I got a call from my boss on the movie today. It was put on hiatus. The director, who is also a screenwriter, would like to make sure the script is as good as it can get before we continue. Since he's also working on another project at the moment, ours has to be put on hold. It's the nature of the beast. I know that I'll be back on it as soon as it starts up again, so I'm not worried. Besides, this project just fell into my lap. Others will, too. In the meantime, I can take that fishing trip with my brother and possibly get out to WCU to talk to the students about Stage Managing. I might also get to SM Porgy & Bess with the Asheville Ballet. So, not great news, but not devastating, either. It's good to be able to be not stressed out about it.

Demented Panda Bear Yard

Vehicle Observations

So, I have this new car, a Chevy Trail Blazer. It's cool. No big bells or whistles or anything and it drives well. I think that I might end up with a speeding ticket before this is over...I'm not used to a V8 engine and "Little Connie Leadfoot" may just push the limit one too many times.

Anyway, I went to the grocery store yesterday (it being Sunday and all) and as I got to my car (Truck, what have you) I realized that the only way to get into the car with a key was at the driver's door. (This car doesn't have a key fob that automatically unlocks all the doors or the trunk from 50 feet away.) In order to put my groceries in the back I have to balance the cart against the car (it's Asheville, very few parking lots are level), open the driver's door, hit the unlock button (which unlocks everything), close that door, go around the car and open the back. Now it is very likely that I'm missing something in the process...like there is a lock on the back somewhere that I can't find. But I don't think so.

It called attention to the fact that manufacturers are catering completely to electronic/remote using single drivers who have no manners. What do I mean by "no manners"? Well, you see, when I have a passenger, I am courteous and unlock that door first before going around to open mine. Since there is no keyhole on the passenger side of this particular vehicle, I have to leave that person standing out in the weather while I go around, unlock my door and electronically open all the other doors. Am I the only one in the world who opens the passenger door first?

Carsick

Who knew that a person could get carsick while driving? I feel like such a wimp. The car I'm driving while scouting and shooting needs to be a 4-wheel drive. So I got a Toyota 4-Runner. Big mistake! It's a great car, but it has what is called "body roll". I don't know what that is, exactly, but it's like being in the back of the bus while going on curvy roads...or it's like being seasick. I was miserable on Monday and Tuesday! It took me until Tuesday night to figure out that it was the car and not me. I thought that I might have to give up the job because I couldn't handle feeling so awful. Today I traded it in for a Chevy Trail Blazer and, while I'm still recuperating from the past two days, I didn't feel like I needed to hurl every 10 miles or so.

So, yes. It's possible to make yourself carsick while driving. Go figure.

The Thing About Locations is...

Locations.

You see, if the scene calls for the main character to decide to go climb down a steep hill under a bridge and get stuck in the mud and scramble up the other side, I have to take pictures of what I think might work for that scene. Sounds easy, right? Only I have to take pictures from the top of that steep hill, from the middle of that steep hill, from the bottom of that steep hill, and so on. From all angles. So, you might say, I've already experienced what the actor might experience long before the cameras roll (only I didn't get muddy--I did slip a couple of times,though).

Here are a couple of interesting shots I too while under bridges...ever feel like a troll?


No mud here...



I couldn't climb up this side, so I had to go back the way I came.

A New Film

Well, I just got a call out of the blue about working Locations on a new film. I have since taken the job, so look for more pics of places I've gone scouting and fun set shots.

Now for the BIG NEWS: The movie is A Walk In the Woods based on the book by Bill Bryson. The BIGGER NEWS: It's being produced by Robert Redford and directed by Chris Columbus. It's pretty big league. I'm excited and will keep you all posted as much as I can.

The Coyote and the Woodpecker

From a Native American Myth:

Coyote, who is too clever for his own good, found himself stuck in a hollow log. Along came Woodpecker who started peck, peck, pecking on the log. Coyote complained and complained about the noise that Woodpecker was making. "Stop all that racket!" Coyote said, but Woodpecker did not hear and kept pecking away. Finally, Woodpecker pecked a small hole into the log, letting in a little light. Coyote realized at that moment that Woodpecker could help him and started yelling, "Get me out of here!" This frightened Woodpecker and he flew away. Coyote became very quiet and still and, eventually, Woodpecker flew back to the log and continued pecking. After a while Woodpecker pecked through the log and freed Coyote.

The moral: That which irritates us could well be out salvation.

The noise of Woodpecker irritated Coyote. When Coyote realized that Woodpecker could help him he scared Woodpecker away in his desperation. Finally, when he became still and patient, Woodpecker freed him from the log.

Liberation irritates the parts of us that keep us stuck.

Beautiful things

I realized over the course of the past couple of months that I like giving myself flowers every week or so. It started out with some flowers in the house for Thanksgiving and then Gerber Daisies for Christmas. Now, I realize that I have had fresh flowers (not including the jungle of plants in the living room) in my home since then. This week it's 20 pink and red tulips. Eleven Bucks! That's all it took to make my space a little nicer and happier (we won't discuss the pile of stuff on the dining room table waiting for me to finish a couple of different art projects). It's such a joy to see them every day and know that I'm doing this tiny thing that makes me so happy, especially in this winter weather. I wish it would either get warmer or snow! This cold is not so much fun.

I Love My Job...Revisited

Aquila Theatre came to the DWT last Friday, Saturday & today. They are a fantastic company of British and American actors who do the classics. Last year they did Hamlet & Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde and this year they did Canterbury Tales and Romeo & Juliet.

Canterbury Tales were quite good, but R&J was superb! I have never seen one so good. What is the best about this particular production is that there are 6 actors, and the audience picks who plays who. Saturday's production had a woman as Romeo, a woman as Juliet (there are only 2 women in the company) and men as Lady Capulet and Nurse. All played multiple parts. I know the play well and I still cried at the end. I was in awe of the mastery of character and language these actors possess.

It was all very minimal (as you would guess with only 6 actors) and just perfect. The set was a 20 foot wooden octagon center stage and black chairs on the sides of the stage with props and and costumes (natural colored muslin pieces over black boots, black pants and black poets shirts). The balcony scenes were so well done. The actors delivered all the lines down stage with Romeo farther down stage than Juliet, who was only 6 inches higher but had a chair to use. I never for a minuted doubted that they were gazing into each other's eyes.

And I got to watch it and get paid, too.

Life is good

Let Go of the Hat

The other day while I was on a very steep trail, sucking wind and being too stubborn to stop, E told me that if I put away the hat I was holding, I could use that energy to make it up that trail....It was really steep! Good sense gave way to stubbornness and I listened, put away the hat and made it to the top (I did stop a couple of times...just to let my heart slow down a bit. It was drowning out the sound of the wind and the birds). I know that I didn't make it there just because I let go of the hat, but who is to say that it didn't give me a little extra energy to make it there.

I had the occasion to speak those words to myself, metaphorically, today. I've been holding on to a "hat" for far too long now. It's not that the hat was causing me any direct harm, and I probably could go on and on holding on to it indefinitely. The hat had other plans. It blew out of my hand and I realized that the energy I was using to hold onto it would be better put to use elsewhere. It's time for the hat to warm some other head, not hang idly, by my side. It is a disservice to the hat's divine purpose to stay in my hand. And I can use that extra energy to make it to the top of the steep trail to see the blue sky and wondrous view at the top.

Goodbye hat.

World's Tallest Roses

Now, I like roses as much as the next girl, but why in the world would someone want 5-1/2 feet of stem and leaves and 1/2 a foot of roses in her house?

I'm sure it would be a prestige thing (they cost $250 per dozen) but, unless you are 7-1/2 feet tall or have a lower area to put them in, you wouldn't be able to SEE the roses. You wouldn't be able to enjoy them, except from afar.

A good gift for an unrequited love, perhaps?

Call me crazy.

My Ears Are Tired

More grocery store fun.

In the grocery store yesterday there was this family: Mom, Dad and two kids (estimated ages of 5 & 3) The kids spent most of the time near the cart, but laughing and wrestling, and generally being a couple of loud kids. Mom was obviously used to it and had her mom ears on. That is to say that she could easily tune them out. Dad, on the other hand said, "Please, my ears are tired. You're with them all day. Make them stop." I will have to say that both kept their cool and the kids eventually calmed down.

The most interesting things happen at the grocery store....at least thing that make me laugh.

If you're in to people watching, go to the yuppie grocery store on Sunday afternoons.

Distractions

Being self aware sucks sometimes. Well, it doesn't really suck, it just doesn't give me the excuse to ignore stuff that's going on very easily. I have been distracting myself all day to no avail. I'm continually brought back to the reason I need to be distracted. The reason is that tomorrow is the tenth anniversary of my mother's death. It would seem that, after 10 years, this day would be easier to handle. It is, most years. Or I just suppress it better. But there is something about it being 10 years that makes it more difficult.

My life changed completely ten years ago. There are things that I will never be able to share with her. Things that I won't come to understand about her. I harbor a little anger toward her because she left me. The irrational 5 year-old is mad because she didn't take care of herself enough to stick around. I guess I still haven't completely forgiven her for that. But it led me to where I am today, which is a pretty good place even though I had to slog through some muck to get here.

I thank her, too. She has given me so much of herself. I got her body type (the women on my dad's side have some extra junk in the trunk), I have her strength and drive. I have her eyes. I have her ready laugh and her sense of right and wrong (sometimes that's a little too much). I have her in my heart.

God, I miss her.

I Jinxed It

If I really believed in those things.

I did not get the project in New Orleans. I would have liked to have done it, but they decided to go with someone local...which makes sense. So, I'm off to polish up my resume and get it out there. And I'm going to take a seminar on grant writing...maybe that's something I'm good at and I can write grants to support myself.

We'll see

My Chiropractor is a Goddess!

I've extolled the virtues of chiropractic care for years now. I've been to many different ones who each had a different approach to their healing art (you can tell I've been in Asheville for a while now). Dr. Michelle Greenspan is the best so far. I hadn't been adjusted in about two years and there was some major catching up to do as far as getting my spine straight. So I've gone to her for 12 adjustments and I can't believe the difference! In fact, I noticed today that the bulge in the right side of my neck is gone. GONE! I've had it there for years. It showed on my x-ray that my neck, besides not being curved enough front to back, was curved side to side (it's not supposed to be that way). And, when I went to her, I couldn't turn my head all the way to the right. It was becoming dangerous for me to drive because I couldn't look over my right shoulder when changing lanes. Now I have better range of motion in my neck, my arms don't go numb when I'm sleeping and wake me up and I'm not having the sciatica that I usually get monthly.

I have many stories about how chiropractic care has helped me, but nothing is more amazing than my first experience back in 1988. I was 23 and had such knee pain (I describe is as someone taking a serrated knife and sawing it under my kneecap at night) that I begged the orthopedic surgeon to cut me just to make it stop hurting so badly. Luckily, he knew better (knee surgery then was just barely getting into the arthroscopic kind, so it would have been a pretty bad situation). My mom suggested a chiropractor. Since she was paying for it (insurance didn't cover it back then) I went ahead and did it. After my x-ray, the Doc showed me that my lower back and hips were out of alignment and that was causing me to walk in a way that irritated the cartilage in my knees. He (and the orthopaedist) knew that I shouldn't be having this kind of trouble at my age--I'd always said that my knees were 15 years older than me. After some treatments I was feeling much better and I can say that I have NEVER had that kind of pain in my knees again. Even now, over 15 years later, I only get twinges.

So, the moral to this story is, if you've ever considered it and you have any kind of pain. It doesn't need to be just your back. Go to the chiropractor.

Oh, and that popping noise is not bones cracking, it's just gas escaping from between your joints...kind of like popping your knuckles...so there is nothing to worry about.

New Orleans

I may have a project in New Orleans coming my way. It's called After the Storm. It's a theatre/film project where inner city kids will be performing the musical Once On This Island and it will be filmed as documentary. They need a stage manager and Bill thought of me. I love it when things like that happened. He really only thought of me because he saw me last night. I went to see him perform Mambo Mouth. What a great show! It was written by John Leguizamo and I'm sure that his original performance was outstanding!

Anyway, check out the After The Storm Website and donate if you wish... AFTER THE STORM

If I get the gig, I'll document it here...If I can. I think that Internet access is still at a premium there even after a year.

Perks

We loaded out LA TheatreWorks' production of Private Lives today. Two dozen white roses were the set dressing. Since I procured them and arranged them, I'm the one who gets to bring them home. Now I know why people like roses by the dozen. I don't particularly care for roses, sometimes they can be mundane. Possibly because we girls get them singly or in bunches from the time guys want to get our attention. These, however, are beautiful and simple. No extra greenery or icky baby's breath. Just a couple of dozen roses in a vase. And I get to look at them every day.

21,000 Troops

I usually only discuss politics at the top of my lungs. Today I would like to do it quietly....but I don't think that'll happen.

Where in the world is W going to get 21,000 more troops to continue the absurdity in Iraq? Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't there a shortage of US soldiers? Is he going to pull troops from already shorthanded areas and put them in Iraq?

My argument isn't fully formed at the moment, but everything about what what he wants to do, to me, is counter-intuitive to withdrawing from the war in a timely manner. I think that it's just going to get worse and continue for the next two to 2-1/2 years until we get a new President. And to what end? By being the big bad poopie-heads of the world, we're only confirming what the terrorists say about us...They've already won because we continue to be all that they say we are.

Oh, and today I learned that the congressman that I voted for, Heath Schuler, voted against stem cell research. He's really a Republican in Dem's Clothing. I'm disappointed that I did not fully research him before I voted for him. But, maybe there'll be enough real Dems to counteract his tyranny....plus, without him, we would not be in the majority. Ant that's always a good thing.

The D Word

Today, I learned that the wife of a friend and associate just up and asked him for a divorce just before Christmas. It was a bit of a shock to me. I have never met her, and can't make any judgment on their marriage, but I felt so bad for my friend. It was out of the blue for him. I felt I had to apologize for women and the way we treat the men we love, sometimes. I also felt uncomfortable because there are times when men complain about their ex-wives and I'm a ex-wife. Luckily, I had E there to reminded me of what a poopie-head my ex was. Nonetheless, I do feel bad for anyone who is going thru the end of a relationship. Even under the best of circumstances, it's difficult. And I only wish him a fairly painless split.

Positive v. Negative

I tend to think of myself as an optimistic person. In fact, I had a therapist once, "I wonder if your optimism is its own form of denial?" She was right, of course. After that, though, I carefully look at whether or not being positive is denial.

Then there are the negative people. It frustrates me when people (friends) seem to automatically shoot down an idea of mine without even considering it (I need some new friends, obviously). I understand that it really has nothing to do with me, usually, but it's frustrating, nonetheless. For instance, I spoke today of stopping by a motel that's close to me to see if they had a gym or a treadmill that I could use in order to be able to exercise on days that the weather is too bad. The response I got was, "Good luck with that." in a most sarcastic way. I didn't expect baloons and noisemakers, but that seems to me to be a very negative response to a simple statement and, I might add, a very good idea. (It turns out that this particular place did not have a gym, but I had to ask).

I did what I wanted to do, though and Screw the Negative Nellies!

Four Items

Three Bags.

Enough Said.

Toucanostramingo

First, let me explain my friends, Paul, Winston & Debra. We fantasize about the kind of practical jokes we would play on each other had we had tons of money at our disposal. Jokes like sending one on vacation and then coming in and hand painting, on velvet, the Last Supper on a prominent wall in the living room. Or completely re-landscaping the yard in Gnome Villiages. Or how about redecorating the house in a taste opposite of the jokee's taste. It provides us with hours of amusement and belly laughs.

Since we don't have that kind of money, we shop at thrift stores for things to make each other laugh. Or, rather, Paul, Winston & Debra do. They have taken shopping at thrift stores and discount stores to a higher art form. So, since last July, I have been hearing, "I can't wait until you open your Christmas Present!" This has caused me many nights of trying to figure out what in they world they might have gotten.

When I arrived home from a family vacation, there was a 5-foot box on my porch. "Hmm...could this be the gift from Paul, Win and Deb? Why yes, it is." So, after a brief struggle with packing tape, carboard and packing paper, my efforts revealed the following:

A Toucanostramingo

Notice, if you will, the unusually large feet and small wings. This bird couldn't get off the ground if he tried. And that Beak! What exactly is it used for? Fishing or berry eating? And, obviously, his sight isn't very good. Notice the crossed eyes. So I must give him a safe home.

Thank you, Paul, Win and Deb. This Big Bird will provide lots of laughs and explainations until I decide that he must go back to his natural habitat: Goodwill.

Finally!

A grocery store bagger who knows what he's doing!

Have I mentioned my pet peeve regarding grocery store baggers? In case you don't know, it drives me up the wall to go to the checkout with 18 items (two of which are in their own bags, like 3lb bags of apples & oranges) and come out of the store with 13 of the plastic bags. That's not even two items per bag!!! In fact, the other day, I asked the bagger to put more than one item in the bags, which he did, and then he DOUBLE BAGGED those items!!!! I couldn't make him understand that I didn't want so many bags and to pack smart, not just throw each item into a bag. It was difficult, but I think I ended up with closer to a 40% Bag to Item ratio that day.

Then, there was the guy yesterday. I wanted to hug him! Unfortunately, I can't remember his name, but I made it a point to tell him how happy he made me with the way he was packing the bags. He looked ahead to see what items could be packed with each other. He put frozen and refrigerated items together so that they would stay colder longer and none of the bags was too heavy. He also told me the trick of putting all the canned goods in one bag, tying a knot in it and then packing it with other items so they don't roll around in the trunk. BRILLIANT! Although he was the best bagger I've run into in a long time, he did, however, put the gallon of milk in its own bag. It did make it easier to carry it, but a gallon of milk does have a handle. Oh, well, his exemplary performance up to then was an early Christmas present and I'm not going to dwell on that one teensy-weensie issue.

So, baggers beware! I know it can be done right. I've seen it!

Are They Looking At My Butt?

There's a climbing wall at a local community center here. I thought it would be fun to look into taking a class, so I asked about it. They aren't giving classes yet, but will be doing so soon. And they will have a women only class in addition to a coed class. Now call me crazy, but if you're sweating and climbing and the only thing keeping you from hitting the ground if (or when) you fall is a person on the other end of the rope, wouldn't you want a sturdy man on the other end of that rope? I mean, who cares if he's looking at your butt? Everyone is looking at your butt! It's 15 feet in the air!

I think that I'm not typical in my thoughts towards exercise and, especially my thoughts toward doing something as new and exciting as climbing. My goal would be to learn to climb, get to the top and do it safely and well. I would be concentrating on where my feet and my hands are going not who is looking at my butt. And since when do men really care what our butt looks like, especially in that harness? It's not the most flattering thing in the world. He really only cares if it's naked or wrapped in lace panties. Otherwise it's just that stuff at the top of your legs; legs that are working really hard on finding that next foothold and keeping you from falling. So I say forget the women only classes and bring on the full-blown all men and women all the time wall climbing class!

The Best Thanksgiving in a Long Time

This Thanksgiving was the best holiday that I've had in a long time. I was prepared, relaxed and had fun with my family. I was probably relaxed because I was so tired. We'd wrapped the movie at 2:00 am on Wednesday morning and my house looked like a catastrophe. So I cleaned some on Wednesday but I didn't get it completed. I had to get up at 6:00 am on Thanksgiving to clean, sweep, dust and mop the downstairs (don't even think about looking upstairs) and get myself ready for the first wave of family at 11:00 am. I don't know how I did it, but I did (I did make the banana pudding the night before and the hors d'oeuvres were simple). As a result, I was able to just tell everyone where to put the food.

I was "Mean Aunt Connie" though. I hid the remote control to the TV so that the boys (all ranging from age 21 to 55) wouldn't just come in and start watching football. I caught them trying to change the channel a couple of times (I had the TV on a satellite radio station) and had to make them talk to one another until after dinner. The amazing thing is that they did talk to each other--about football. After we ate I handed over the remote and all was well.

The World's Cutest Baby Boy was there. My Great-Nephew, Blayn. He's 15 months old now and still as cute as can be. He's going to be joined by cousin, Ella, in March. It's great to be able to really spoil the little ones and give them back. I feel like a real Aunt since I'm actually an adult while these little ones are babies.

Friday I went to work for a couple of hours and then stayed up late playing cards with my brother and his family. It's become a tradition that I really enjoy. The only game I know is Hand and Foot. Maybe I'll learn something new and teach it to everyone when we go to West VA for Christmas.

Saturday was spent eating a Deep Fried Turkey at Erik's family's house and spoiling 3 little ones that I have absolutely no connection with. Of course, E's family was making hints about us (I told them that we've had every relationship two people can have and we've settled on best friends) especially when the little one fell asleep on my shoulder. I was initiated into the pack when JC walked by a poked me with a stick. I'm part of the family now--Even though I have bee part of the family since 1980. Fun times were had by all. As you can see, Bailey Jewel had fun in the piles of leaves.

Today, I didn't do a darned thing. Resting up from the holiday and catching up on lost sleep. Tomorrow I hit the ground running again back at work at the Diana Wortham and getting ready for the Nutcracker.

I hope all of you had a great holiday.

Connie The Geek

We finished shooting at 11:30 pm on Tuesday, 11/21. Here are some pics of the actors. Above is Mischa Barton between takes. We were on top of a mountain in Maggie Valley, NC and it was rainy and freezing! She was a good sport about it all.
Michael Albanese is the one on the left. He was hanging out with one of our Transpo guys, Rodney, and Hanna, on of our fabulous PAs
Okay, this is me and Ellen. Ellen is the Locations Manager who took over when we started shooting. We worked really well together.
Ryan Kwanten was the lead in the picture. He was very gracious and friendly. He took the time to learn everyone's name and also made a point of saying good morning. He's a keeper. It was fairly early in the morning, so fogive his squinty eyes.

Here's where the ultimate geekdom comes in. I had to screw up my courage to ask Mr. Bridges if he would pose for a picture with me. He, also, was very gracious and kind.

Even Stranger

I went to the beta blogger site and nothing that I have posted since the 4th is on there. But sometimes I can get the stuff I posted yesterday. I'm so confused. Maybe I should just go to bed.

If anyone can see the posts with the pictures from the film, please let me know.

Odd Happenings at E Blogger

I posted a bunch of pictures and a couple of other things yesterday and none of them have shown up yet. So, I'll repeat them and see what happens.

Sunset and Field

I still was able to witness some beautiful scenery last week.

More Pics from Last Week

This is the back of the lighting Truck
Lauretta, our 2nd AD finishing up paperwork in the skanky motel we shot in. It was almost as bad as that Econo Lodge in Baltimore that we stayed in during Sunny Side.
Grip Truck..That's Paps and Jon. I'm not sure who's in the back
Pete the Wonder PA on Lockdown in the Hotel. He made sure no one went thru that door while the scene was going on
Nate waiting for Lauretta to tell him he could go home

Some Pics from Last Week

This is our RV/Truck Village. I took these two pics while on top of the parking garage where we were shooting last Sunday.

Joe and Drew, a couple of our Transpo guys. They get the vehicles where they need to be
That's me with the RVs and Mo Ho in the background.
This is Mischa's back getting ready for her stunt.

The Worst Day So Far

Was yesterday. Tensions were high, we were on top of a mountain in the cold and the rain and they couldn’t make up their minds where they wanted to shoot a scene. Then I locked my keys in my car. On top of it all, everyone decided that they wanted to do my job. Or, at least that’s how it felt to me. That, and that I couldn’t do anything right. Add to all that, getting yelled at by the Line Producer because he couldn’t follow the directions (he was the only one out of 60 people who missed the exit) and the 1^st AD accusing me of being rude (She’s pretty inconsiderate herself) and I would say that I had a pretty miserable day. But I survived and didn’t quit and, as I kept saying to myself and anyone who would listen, “Tomorrow’s another day.”

More Film Abbreviations

Stinger = extension cord run from the generator by the Electrics

Crafty = The person who runs Craft Services

Scripty = Script Supervisor

Cube = A regular, rental-type box truck

Martini = The last shot of the day

Fall Photo

I took this picture from Beaucatcher Mountain a couple of weeks ago. I was escaping the insanity and took a moment to look around. This is what I saw.

Film Abbreviations

Mo Ho=Motor Home (the BIG Hair and Makup Trailer)
DP=Director of Photography
PD=Production Designer
(these are pretty obvious except for the fact that the two of them work very closely in pre-production and I kept getting the abbreviations mixed up)
Jenny=generator--The BIG ASS generator that you can run an entire theatre full of lights off of
Putt-Putt=the baby generator that supplies power to trailers, etc when we can't get an outlet from the site
BG=Background or Extras in a scene
1st team=principle actors
2nd team=stand-ins

When I can think of more, I'll add them

Oh, and about the celebs: Mischa Barton is tall for a movie actress, I don't know her actual height, but she's almost as tall as me. And I'd be suprised if she weighs as much as 120. Skinny! She has an adorable puppy. I haven't met her, yet, but she seems nice.

Ryan is a really nice guy,too bad he's too young for me.

That's it for my day off.

Film...it's a different world

Well, it's 1:23 am on Wednesday Morning and I'm still on set. I was here at 6:00am and I still have a 45 minute drive home. We're having "“Transpo" problems. That means that there are 10 vehicles that have to get from one place to another and only 5 drivers. And those drivers have to go about 40 minutes round-trip. And, since I'm Locations, I'm the last one out. I have to wait until everyone is gone before I can leave, turn off the lights and be able to say that I left the place in good condition.

Needless to say, I'm a little grumpy about it.

Things are going a lot better for me now that we're actually shooting. Production is a lot like Tech, only longer and with TONS more stuff! There's the mad rush to get ready for rehearsal and then the waiting around for them to set the lights, then going with the scene and then doing it over again or moving on to another mad rush. One of the positive differences is that there is a constant supply of food. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad. But food nonetheless.

I do have to say that everyone works really hard and there are no slackers at all on this picture. And, since I'm busy taking care of the physical location, I don't get the opportunity to see much of the acting, so I can't form an opinion on that. We have this nice guy named Ryan Kwanten and Mischa Barton comes tomorrow. Ja Rule is also in it and I think we're getting Bo Bridges to play the dad. So it should be interesting, to say the least.

Okay, I'm napping until the transpo team get here.

More on film abbreviations later.

I have Decided

Back in my Catholic Teenage days I would listen to Amy Grant. I thought she was the coolest! And who knew that songs about God could sound like contemporary, pop songs? Anyway, she has this song called I Have Decided and it has been running around in my head all day today.

I don't know if I'm unique in that I have a radio station in my head that is a constant underscore to my life, but that's the way it is. I have found that if I just stop and listen to the words that are repeating I can hear what's really going on with me.

Today I was contemplating the fact that about two months ago, I hadn't worked very much this year and didn't have much money. About that time, I DECIDED that I would do something about it. Sitting around feeling sorry or putting my fate in someone else's hands simply is not the way to make things happen on one's life. I was making excuses about why my life wasn't going well and taking it out on those around me (The Great Lawnmower Meltdown comes to mind--I'll elaborate on that one later). Once I decided to take control of my situation, things began to change. It's amazing how that works. Whether it's faith in a higher being or simply faith in one's self, there is only one way to do what you need to do in life. DECIDE what you want and then make choices according to that decision.

So, what more have I decided? I've decided that I will keep a positive attitude with regards to this film shoot. I have decided that, even though my house will not be pristine come Thanksgiving (we shoot thru the day before), I will make the best of it and not be paranoid that my sister may be judging me. She probably isn't. I have decided that I will do what I have to do in order to take care of myself and not go stark raving mad between now and then.

What have you decided?

Cemetery Lady

It occurred to me today that I had never been to Riverside Cemetery in Asheville. It's a very old cemetery that houses a number of interesting people such as O. Henry, Thomas Wolfe, and a few governors. I've always had a fascination with cemetaries partly because they are, in their own way, an historical art museum. Marble sculpture and inscription for the departed is very personal and meaningful and, to me, holds weight. I came across this beautiful door to a mausoleum. I was so enamored of the art, I didn't look for the date.

It made me catch my breath.

There are so many questions that come to mind when I see this beautiful young woman. Is she saying goodbye? Is she waiting for her time to go in and join her loved one? Or is she contemplating taking her own life in order to be allowed inside?

Every person who saw this piece of art would make up his or her own story about the lady waitng at the door. And all of them would be true.

"That must drive you nuts!"

Did I mention the Film is different? This is a very unexpected difference that I'm not sure I know how to handle:

People are very complimentary and say things like: "Thank you, you're doing a great job" at least once a day.

Yes! It's true! Compliments and reassurance! And I'm not sure I'm absolutely comfortable with it. That is the sad part. I have been working in theatre for 20 years and I rarely experienced a thank you or a direct compliment.

On this particular project, however, I get some sort of "Atta Girl!" from the Producer, the Director or the Production Coordinator on a daily basis. It gives me the willies! The difficulty is in simply accepting the praise and not reading too much into it. Obviously, I've made an impression on these people. That's the most compliment I need. Knowing that I'm doing a good job under difficult circumstances and keeping a good attitude even though my brain has turned to mush is pretty impressive.

Maybe film isn't so bad, after all....Stay tuned, we haven't gone into production, yet.

More Work Stuff

Well, I’m not so sure that I like being a Locations Scout. The days are long and there’s no interaction between me and other people on the film. I do know that will change once we get into the shoot—Did I mention that we are shooting a Feature Film in less than a month? There are a few days in NY, but the majority of the film is in the Asheville area.

Anyway, I’m in my car, driving around, trying to find things that match what’s in the director’s head. Now, I used to be a good mind reader, but I have given that up because it became such a drain. I’m not a good mind reader right now. Especially since I'm working on lack of sleep and little to no nutrition (I've lost 3 pounds this week) and I haven’t really had enough time with the director to figure out what he wants. It’s an odd process. And much less collaborative than theatre. Everyone has his or her own idea about what needs to be done and they don’t talk to one another. Not something I’m used to at all. I think that on my next film I want to do something else. Something more managerial and organizational. I’m good at that.

I had an obligation this week that I couldn’t get out of. I’m the backstage “stage manager” for a concert at the Diana Wortham. I am so much more at home here. In fact, I’m more relaxed right now than I’ve been since last Saturday. I guess that this is where I’m supposed to be. It’s familiar, people have confidence in my ability and, yes, I say “Stand by,” and everyone on headset stops talking. Could it be that I’m more relaxed and happy when I’m in charge?

New Job, New Equipment

Since my new job is about taking Photos of locations, I bought a digital camera. Don't tell anyone that I stop and take personal pictures while on the clock!

The above were taken Downtown and at the Asheville Arboretum.

Hopefully, I'll be able to post more. But since my days have turned into 14 hour work days (film is soooo glamorous!!!) I may just post photos of what's going on. No time to think deep thoughts or be clever. Photos will have to do.

Work Begets Work

I have fallen off the face of the earth and into work.

I worked with an actress in one of my recent shows who is a local film producer. She asked if I'd be interested in film---Of course I am!

I did 2 days as a PA on the re-shoots of a film she was working on.

Film, by the way, is like a constant 10 out of 12. Scurry and get everything set up and then wait for GOD. God has a lot of influence, especially if it's an outside shot. We waited for clouds to pass by on one day and we waited an hour for sunset on another (I guess we were too efficient).

Well, I guess I impressed her enough as a PA that she recommended me for her next film. I start Monday as an Assistant Locations until we start filming...then I'll be doing something else. Woo Hoo! Then there's one in February that she wants me for.

The gods are making up for me not taking a position as Michael Mann's assistant on Mohicans 15 years ago...and I know that I wouldn't have been able to cut it in the film business 15 years ago. I had a lot of growing up to do before that.