I have Decided

Back in my Catholic Teenage days I would listen to Amy Grant. I thought she was the coolest! And who knew that songs about God could sound like contemporary, pop songs? Anyway, she has this song called I Have Decided and it has been running around in my head all day today.

I don't know if I'm unique in that I have a radio station in my head that is a constant underscore to my life, but that's the way it is. I have found that if I just stop and listen to the words that are repeating I can hear what's really going on with me.

Today I was contemplating the fact that about two months ago, I hadn't worked very much this year and didn't have much money. About that time, I DECIDED that I would do something about it. Sitting around feeling sorry or putting my fate in someone else's hands simply is not the way to make things happen on one's life. I was making excuses about why my life wasn't going well and taking it out on those around me (The Great Lawnmower Meltdown comes to mind--I'll elaborate on that one later). Once I decided to take control of my situation, things began to change. It's amazing how that works. Whether it's faith in a higher being or simply faith in one's self, there is only one way to do what you need to do in life. DECIDE what you want and then make choices according to that decision.

So, what more have I decided? I've decided that I will keep a positive attitude with regards to this film shoot. I have decided that, even though my house will not be pristine come Thanksgiving (we shoot thru the day before), I will make the best of it and not be paranoid that my sister may be judging me. She probably isn't. I have decided that I will do what I have to do in order to take care of myself and not go stark raving mad between now and then.

What have you decided?