Birthday Party

Yesterday was the surprise party in celebration of my sister-in-law, Kathy's 50th birthday. Here are some photos:

The Birthday Girl and her Cake.

Me and my niece, Shelli. She and her sister, Shannon, put together this shindig. She's also the mom of the cutest little boy in the world:


At 20 Months, he's a hard one to catch on film.
Kathy, me and baby Ella. Ella is the newest in the family at 6 weeks old. Already she is very dramatic and expressive with her hands.

And she's learning to wink! (That's my brother, Dennis, holding her)

Contra Dancing

I went contra dancing Friday with my friend, Dawn. It was the first time for both of us and we had a blast! As always, I seem to look for lessons in my life experiences. I have to few to contemplate from this experience.

Lesson 1: Letting go and letting someone lead is a difficult thing for me.
Lesson 2: Letting it be okay when a leader is not so excellent is harder.
Lesson 3: There are a bunch of diverse, interesting people in Asheville that I judge because of appearance.
Lesson 4: Being okay with an unfamiliar man's hands on your body every 30 seconds or so is another difficult thing for me.
Lesson 5: I don't care if you grew up in Massachusetts, rude and inconsiderate is rude and inconsiderate wherever you are.

My face hurt from smiling so much, though, and I recommend it to anyone who might enjoy an evening of easy companionship and dancing.

Thanks, Dawn, for asking me to go and thanks, Katy, for talking about it years ago in a way that made me not find an excuse not to go.

The Problem with Family is...

They live too near!
Tonight I had male company for dinner at my house. Nothing big, I was hungry, he was hungry and I didn't feel like eating out. Well, first of all, I had to introduce him to the boys in the garage so they wouldn't give me a hard time. No biggie. They get the idea that Connie's bathroom is off limits for the evening. Then Big Bro Bill comes by. At least he knocks. Christopher sometimes doesn't. Anyway, he sees I have company, I introduce them, Bill asks his question, I answer it thinking that's that and he'll go away. NOPE! He sits, offers me some of his Reece's Pieces and starts to launch into something family oriented. He had no clue that he might not be welcome for an extended discussion. I had to kick him out. It was funny and embarrassing and cute all at the same time. I know that I'm well protected around here. Not a bad place to be when you're a single woman negotiating the world of internet dating.

Well....

This one speaks for itself:

Good night, and good luck...

I can't complain about having tried this Internet dating thing. After all, it has been quite a learning experience. I learned that honest, intelligent, straightforward, common sense people have given way to shallow, rude, dishonest, self-centered weirdo freaks. No one can say what they mean and mean what they say anymore. Oh you say how much you hate dishonesty and game playing, but you just can't live up to your own expectations. There's a description for that. It's called being a hypocrite. I've had enough. You have shifted my desires from romance and companionship to blissful bachelorhood in all of its uncomplicated and freewheeling glory. Ladies, you're not worth the trouble. There are too many noble and facinating things in the world in which to be involved to waste any more time on dull females who think of American Idol as high art and themselves as the center of the universe. Good night, and good luck.
Very sincerely, Another jaded single male.

It's rather sad that a seemingly articulate 36-year old man can have such a strongly negative reaction towards women. I daresay that he won't be getting many dates with this message in his profile. It's a crazy cyber-space world.

More on Online Dating

Pet peeve: If you are going to post your photo(s) on the website, PLEASE make sure that at least one of them shows you without your sunglasses on! I may not be typical, but I would venture to guess that most women would react more favorably if they could see your eyes. What are you hiding behind those sunglasses?

Oh, and keep your shirt on unless you are at the beach or in a boat.

Computer Dating

You know, when the guy's profile says that he's 5 feet tall and you are hoping that it was a typo, make sure you ask before meeting.

It wasn't a typo.

Lesson for the Day

Don't go clothes shopping after a big meal and in full-blown PMS bloat.


It does not make for a fun experience.

Remember that Snow?

Not the one yesterday, but the one last week. This is the tree in my yard. Pretty, isn't it?

Momma Osprey

There are a number of Osprey nests at Lake Russell where we were fishing. This is a Momma Osprey just before she decided that we were not good to have around her babies. She kept flying around, trying to lure us from the nest.

Lesbian Dreams

I went fishing (no, really---FISHING) last weekend with my brothers and a bunch of their friends. It was what they call a tournament. You pay 40 bucks, you fish from 7:00 am to 4:00 pm and whoever has the most poundage in fish wins and whoever has the biggest fish wins, too. I didn't do too badly for a Once-a-year fisher person. I caught 2 fish. One was a keeper at 14 inches and 1.5 pounds:

Ohhhh....Sexy!

Anyway, back at the camp, I was surrounded by 13 beer swilling, vodka pushing, skoal dipping, middle aged men who were very happy to NOT have their wives about for the weekend. I think I could have written a sociology paper on my observations. Don't get me wrong, they were all great and I had my book for company when the "faggit" jokes got out of hand.

I think that I now understand why men have to get away from women and vice-versa. The men really DO have to act like high-school boys (especially if they were all athletes) and do wacky boy stuff (Don't tell them I called them boys. It might hurt their feelings). And make sure you have that bloody mary even if you told them no 10 times. And look sheepish when they remember a girl is in their midst. I assured them that I could probably embarrass them with my bawdiness, so they should relax and be themselves. They finally were and I retreated to the safety of the van, my book and the air mattress....only to have dreams about girls kissing...Go figure.

Very Interesting

It's no secret that I engage in online personals. I met a couple of guys when I lived in St. Louis via Match.com and also had a couple of encounters here with the same service. I think, though, that I have found the secret to online dating, or whatever you want to call it: Don't put down too much information. Odd, huh?

When I was on Match, I spent a lot of time trying to convey in 1,000 characters or less who I was, what I was looking for and all that blather. It was very important to me to not present myself in a false light. Well, I just didn't have much luck with that tack. I met a couple of nice guys, but I was not even given the time of day by quite a few that probably wouldn't have minded going out with me. And, in the usual female way, I took it personally and somehow figured that I wasn't good enough. Forget this online dating thing!!!! Besides, all I wanted was to get out, meet some nice guys and, possibly, strike up a romance. Not too much to ask, is it?

In a fit of pique, I changed services to Yahoo personals. I had one photo of myself that I liked and I filled out the "About Me" multiple choice section honestly and the "About Him" section honestly without being too picky (I mean, a college grad under 47 who doesn't smoke really isn't too much to ask for). I wrote a two sentence description saying that I'm hardworking, I like to hike, talk and listen to NPR and threw caution to the wind.

I have had a much higher percentage of guys contact me. It's crazy! And the best part is that they are all, pretty much, in my age range (I was married to someone 11 years older than me, I have no desire to date someone that old now--I was also spoiled by dating someone 6 years younger than me most recently and have an appreciation for the Non-Viagra set).

In the past 5 days I have been on two "get to know you" dates and there's a second date (maybe it's a REAL date) coming up in the next couple of weeks. So, if any of you out there are thinking of trying the online personals, Less is more. But you have to post a photo. A lot of guys automatically think that you are either 800 lbs or are hiding some kind of disfigurement when you don't have a photo.

Advice from a successful online dater.