Four Items

Three Bags.

Enough Said.

Toucanostramingo

First, let me explain my friends, Paul, Winston & Debra. We fantasize about the kind of practical jokes we would play on each other had we had tons of money at our disposal. Jokes like sending one on vacation and then coming in and hand painting, on velvet, the Last Supper on a prominent wall in the living room. Or completely re-landscaping the yard in Gnome Villiages. Or how about redecorating the house in a taste opposite of the jokee's taste. It provides us with hours of amusement and belly laughs.

Since we don't have that kind of money, we shop at thrift stores for things to make each other laugh. Or, rather, Paul, Winston & Debra do. They have taken shopping at thrift stores and discount stores to a higher art form. So, since last July, I have been hearing, "I can't wait until you open your Christmas Present!" This has caused me many nights of trying to figure out what in they world they might have gotten.

When I arrived home from a family vacation, there was a 5-foot box on my porch. "Hmm...could this be the gift from Paul, Win and Deb? Why yes, it is." So, after a brief struggle with packing tape, carboard and packing paper, my efforts revealed the following:

A Toucanostramingo

Notice, if you will, the unusually large feet and small wings. This bird couldn't get off the ground if he tried. And that Beak! What exactly is it used for? Fishing or berry eating? And, obviously, his sight isn't very good. Notice the crossed eyes. So I must give him a safe home.

Thank you, Paul, Win and Deb. This Big Bird will provide lots of laughs and explainations until I decide that he must go back to his natural habitat: Goodwill.

Finally!

A grocery store bagger who knows what he's doing!

Have I mentioned my pet peeve regarding grocery store baggers? In case you don't know, it drives me up the wall to go to the checkout with 18 items (two of which are in their own bags, like 3lb bags of apples & oranges) and come out of the store with 13 of the plastic bags. That's not even two items per bag!!! In fact, the other day, I asked the bagger to put more than one item in the bags, which he did, and then he DOUBLE BAGGED those items!!!! I couldn't make him understand that I didn't want so many bags and to pack smart, not just throw each item into a bag. It was difficult, but I think I ended up with closer to a 40% Bag to Item ratio that day.

Then, there was the guy yesterday. I wanted to hug him! Unfortunately, I can't remember his name, but I made it a point to tell him how happy he made me with the way he was packing the bags. He looked ahead to see what items could be packed with each other. He put frozen and refrigerated items together so that they would stay colder longer and none of the bags was too heavy. He also told me the trick of putting all the canned goods in one bag, tying a knot in it and then packing it with other items so they don't roll around in the trunk. BRILLIANT! Although he was the best bagger I've run into in a long time, he did, however, put the gallon of milk in its own bag. It did make it easier to carry it, but a gallon of milk does have a handle. Oh, well, his exemplary performance up to then was an early Christmas present and I'm not going to dwell on that one teensy-weensie issue.

So, baggers beware! I know it can be done right. I've seen it!