Perfect Pictures for an Imperfect world

As Promised

Before: July 18, 2007

UgH!!!!!!! Looks more like a mug shot

and AFTER (October 25, 2007)



Thank goodness for bronzing powder!

Wanna know the best part? I bought the suit at 70% off! Woo hoo!

Now I've Gone and Done It

I bought a 2-piece swimsuit today to wear for my "After" picture. You have no idea how difficult it is to find a swimsuit in Asheville in October. Although the way it's been raining the past 2 days, I may need one!

Coming soon....actual photographs!

Today was my last day

On my Remarkable Body Development program.

It's been a journey. I have reached or surpassed all of my goals but one. And I changed my mind about being able to ride a bike to downtown because it was just too stressful. But I'm not focusing on that.

I'm focusing on the fact that:
I have lost 27 lbs
I have lost 20 inches in various & sundry places
I can do 15 push ups
even my "skinny" jeans are too big now and
I have cheekbones again
I can see my ribs
I have very strong legs
I have biceps and triceps

I am very proud of myself, especially since I managed to see this through during a tech. No more emotional eating for me. I have grown even as I have shrunk.

I'll post my before & after pics once I get the After one done. It's hard to find a good-fitting bathing suit in October.

Actual Conversation

This is the conversation I had with the kid behind the counter at Batteries Plus:

Me: Hey! I need a gross of Double-A Procell batteries and I want to put them on the Diana Wortham Theatre's account.

Counter Boy: Okay, how many do you need?

Me: A gross.

Counter Boy: How many?

Me: A gross.

Counter Boy: So.....is that like a "Buttload"?

I was shocked and amazed.

Another Cute Pic of Ella Bella

Anxiety Dreams

It's always so obvious to me when I'm feeling anxious. I have very vivid dreams that leave no room for doubt. I first started understanding them back in 1993 and they were very vivid in '97 when I was going through some major life changes. They have been a compass since.

Today I start rehearsals for Macbeth and have spent the past few days prepping for the rehearsal. I thought I had my ducks in a row until I realized that I lost the keys to the rehearsal hall....I mean LOST. They fell off my keyring sometime between Thursday and yesterday and they can be anywhere.

I will be getting some new keys, but it set in motion my chain of anxiety dreams. This morning I dreamed that I kept stepping on the scales and they kept giving me crazy numbers like 300 or 50. I changed scales and the same thing happened. Suddenly there were tons of scales and none of them would give me a weight that was even remotely close to the actual. It all stems from my fear of giving inaccurate information to my cast and director...I don't want to be the scale that is 200 pound off and, so I strive to find the real answer and in some instances, a ballpark would suffice and would waste less time.

So there! I sometimes look forward to my dreams because they tell me what is going on in my head, really, instead of what I think is going on in there.

Hey! It's cheaper than therapy!

I Did It!!!

I hiked the Mt. Pisgah trail today in 1.5 hours! Woo Hoo! It took me 40 minutes to get to the top, I stayed for 10 minutes and then it took 40 minutes to get back down...but I stopped to take pics along the way. I'll post them soon.

In case you're wondering, the hike is 3 miles round-trip with an elevation rise of 750 feet in 1.5 miles. Some times it felt like climbing stairs instead of hiking a trail.

I'm really proud of myself and it reminded me how much I love to hike...especially when I'm not on a deadline.

Finally!

I have my car back. It's doing well. I still have to get a few things checked out once I get a few miles on the new engine. But it's mine and I can drive it and park it and do whatever I want to in it. Woo Hoo! Since this engine has only 13,000 miles on it, I should be able to drive it a good, long while, giving me time to save up for a Subaru Forrester or Outback.

Please Help

Sometimes I Feel Like This

Past Love, Old Songs

Have you ever associated a song with a particular person? Possibly that person is someone you fell in love with. And now you are no longer with that person. What happens to the song? I just heard a song that my ex-husband used to play for me. I was surprised at the feeling I had. Before this, I associated that song with him and all that was bad between us; the times he wasn’t there for me, the times that he acted out instead of talked to me, the time he left and never came back.

Today I heard the song, “You’re My Best Friend” and I’m able to look past the bad and see it for the sweet gesture that it was at the time. He loved me as best he could and showed his love in the only way he knew how. I guess I must be growing up. I can now look back on my marriage and see it not as a failure but as an experience that, although painful at the end, I now count as a valuable and worthwhile part of my life.

And I can hear that song and smile.

Engine

The replacement engine that was to replace the engine was dropped and, therefore not able to be put in my car...a THIRD engine is either here or on its way.

Good Grief!

Car Update

So the old engine is out and the new one is ready to go in. Except it won't go in. The flywheel doesn't fit.

It seems that a Hyundai engine for an automatic transmission is different from a Hyundai engine for a manual transmission...who knew?

So we're looking for a new engine and have a line on one that has only 10,000 miles on it. That'll work.

Maybe I'll get my car before Christmas.

I Rode Four Miles This Morning

Okay, it's a sign of my commitment that I got on a bicycle at 6:40 this morning and rode on the street for two miles and back...It was the only time I was going to be able to do my workout today because my work day started at 9:30am and will continue until at least 10:30pm...You know these programs were designed for people who had regular, 9-5 jobs and weekends off. However difficult it was, it was worth it...as I got to the lake (I rode to Beaver Lake and back) the sun was just pinking the sky over the mountains was absolutely gorgeous! So I am very happy and proud of myself for staying on course and seeing such a sight. I really must take my camera with me on my early morning treks.

Erectile Dysfunction and Viagra

This thought just came to me. Viagra puts men at higher risk for chronic disease. Now, I'm not a doctor or claim that this statement is actually true, but hear me out.

Before the pills to help with ED men had to suffer and/or go to the doctor to see what was up. Sometimes in the course of ruling out health problems that might be causing the ED, a chronic disease, heart problems or diabetes might be found. When the disease is treated or managed, the ED might just be taken care of.

Now there is a pill that Doctors can prescribe to take care of the ED and the consumer can ask for it by name. The pesky tests and physicals that would have taken place in the past are no longer conducted. Therefore, it is not caught in a timely manner and the disease worsens. Putting men at higher risk.

It is affecting the health of my family members and it makes me mad. Possibly this heart-attack could have been avoided had he not been able to take a pill to get it up. Or his diabetes may have, in the early stages, been able to be managed by diet and exercise. Now he has to take insulin a number of times a day.

So, for gods' sake, get yourself checked out BEFORE you start taking the pill to get it up. It might just save your life. When the penis isn't working right, there might be something else not working right, too.

Twelve Pounds

In FOUR WEEKS. Woo hoo! I'm going to be so buff in two more months. Even though I don't want to do it, I'll post the before and after photos....The Before is pretty sad.

And, I've learned a little something new about myself through this process, so far. It's something that I've known, but haven't had it put to me quite this way. I'm a rescuer. This may be a good thing in some situations (the reason I did so well at Barter when I was ASM and backstage during tech, etc.) but when it comes to relationships...not so good. I have thought of myself in this capacity before but I didn't use that word: Rescuer. I used "people-pleaser" and "co-dependent enabler" but "rescuer" puts it into perspective for me. Now all I have to do is learn how not to be one and to gain the tools required. Piece of cake.

Did someone say cake?

Post Secret

I Found Out Yesterday

That the brakes on the riding lawnmower don't work when the engine is off.

Thank goodness for that tree.

The Lawn Mower is Okay

The watch needs a new battery