Uncomfortable Situation

Last Friday I went out on a date with this man I met at the MDFF. We had been out after the show once and this time it was what I would constitute a “real” date. (I wore a skirt and everything)

I had fun and he’s a very nice guy. And I don’t mean that in any other way than n-i-c-e. When you are in your 40s and dating, “nice” is something you look for in a man. Anyway, he’s very nice, solicitous and probably a little nervous. This is something I take into consideration when deciding whether or not to go out with someone again.

My decision was to not go out with him again for various reasons, but the primary reason is that I’m simply not attracted to him romantically and I don’t see the point in prolonging the agony. (A couple of my friends made the comment that he “really likes” me.)

I’m determined to behave like a grownup and let him know instead of acting like a teenager. The question is: do I tell him over the phone? Do I meet him for coffee and then tell him? How does one do this, since I’ve never done this before? I tried asking E’s advice, but he was no help, telling me that the way most “girls” do it is to avoid they guy until he gives up. That’s not my style…anymore.

Needless to say, the gods are working to make me face my fears without delay. As I walked out of work today he just happened to be passing by—I know, it seems a little stalker-y, but it makes sense since I was the one to show him where there were parking spaces downtown that were usually open around 6 and they happen to be near my building—He asked me if I wanted to join him. I said no.

Then he asked me if I wanted to go out with him again.

Me: Oh, poop. This is not how I wanted to tell him this and for goodness sake, we’re standing in an alley. “Uh, no.”

Him: “Do you mind me asking why?”

Me: Yikes! “To tell you the truth, I’m just not attracted to you romantically. Babble, babble babble…Nice guy, babble babble.” Argh!

Him: “Well, I’ll leave it up to you, then if you want to hang out, just call me.”

See? Nice.

Me: “Uh, okay. I’ll see you around”

At which time, I practically ran to my car.