Birthday Party

Yesterday was the surprise party in celebration of my sister-in-law, Kathy's 50th birthday. Here are some photos:

The Birthday Girl and her Cake.

Me and my niece, Shelli. She and her sister, Shannon, put together this shindig. She's also the mom of the cutest little boy in the world:


At 20 Months, he's a hard one to catch on film.
Kathy, me and baby Ella. Ella is the newest in the family at 6 weeks old. Already she is very dramatic and expressive with her hands.

And she's learning to wink! (That's my brother, Dennis, holding her)

Contra Dancing

I went contra dancing Friday with my friend, Dawn. It was the first time for both of us and we had a blast! As always, I seem to look for lessons in my life experiences. I have to few to contemplate from this experience.

Lesson 1: Letting go and letting someone lead is a difficult thing for me.
Lesson 2: Letting it be okay when a leader is not so excellent is harder.
Lesson 3: There are a bunch of diverse, interesting people in Asheville that I judge because of appearance.
Lesson 4: Being okay with an unfamiliar man's hands on your body every 30 seconds or so is another difficult thing for me.
Lesson 5: I don't care if you grew up in Massachusetts, rude and inconsiderate is rude and inconsiderate wherever you are.

My face hurt from smiling so much, though, and I recommend it to anyone who might enjoy an evening of easy companionship and dancing.

Thanks, Dawn, for asking me to go and thanks, Katy, for talking about it years ago in a way that made me not find an excuse not to go.

The Problem with Family is...

They live too near!
Tonight I had male company for dinner at my house. Nothing big, I was hungry, he was hungry and I didn't feel like eating out. Well, first of all, I had to introduce him to the boys in the garage so they wouldn't give me a hard time. No biggie. They get the idea that Connie's bathroom is off limits for the evening. Then Big Bro Bill comes by. At least he knocks. Christopher sometimes doesn't. Anyway, he sees I have company, I introduce them, Bill asks his question, I answer it thinking that's that and he'll go away. NOPE! He sits, offers me some of his Reece's Pieces and starts to launch into something family oriented. He had no clue that he might not be welcome for an extended discussion. I had to kick him out. It was funny and embarrassing and cute all at the same time. I know that I'm well protected around here. Not a bad place to be when you're a single woman negotiating the world of internet dating.

Well....

This one speaks for itself:

Good night, and good luck...

I can't complain about having tried this Internet dating thing. After all, it has been quite a learning experience. I learned that honest, intelligent, straightforward, common sense people have given way to shallow, rude, dishonest, self-centered weirdo freaks. No one can say what they mean and mean what they say anymore. Oh you say how much you hate dishonesty and game playing, but you just can't live up to your own expectations. There's a description for that. It's called being a hypocrite. I've had enough. You have shifted my desires from romance and companionship to blissful bachelorhood in all of its uncomplicated and freewheeling glory. Ladies, you're not worth the trouble. There are too many noble and facinating things in the world in which to be involved to waste any more time on dull females who think of American Idol as high art and themselves as the center of the universe. Good night, and good luck.
Very sincerely, Another jaded single male.

It's rather sad that a seemingly articulate 36-year old man can have such a strongly negative reaction towards women. I daresay that he won't be getting many dates with this message in his profile. It's a crazy cyber-space world.

More on Online Dating

Pet peeve: If you are going to post your photo(s) on the website, PLEASE make sure that at least one of them shows you without your sunglasses on! I may not be typical, but I would venture to guess that most women would react more favorably if they could see your eyes. What are you hiding behind those sunglasses?

Oh, and keep your shirt on unless you are at the beach or in a boat.

Computer Dating

You know, when the guy's profile says that he's 5 feet tall and you are hoping that it was a typo, make sure you ask before meeting.

It wasn't a typo.

Lesson for the Day

Don't go clothes shopping after a big meal and in full-blown PMS bloat.


It does not make for a fun experience.

Remember that Snow?

Not the one yesterday, but the one last week. This is the tree in my yard. Pretty, isn't it?

Momma Osprey

There are a number of Osprey nests at Lake Russell where we were fishing. This is a Momma Osprey just before she decided that we were not good to have around her babies. She kept flying around, trying to lure us from the nest.

Lesbian Dreams

I went fishing (no, really---FISHING) last weekend with my brothers and a bunch of their friends. It was what they call a tournament. You pay 40 bucks, you fish from 7:00 am to 4:00 pm and whoever has the most poundage in fish wins and whoever has the biggest fish wins, too. I didn't do too badly for a Once-a-year fisher person. I caught 2 fish. One was a keeper at 14 inches and 1.5 pounds:

Ohhhh....Sexy!

Anyway, back at the camp, I was surrounded by 13 beer swilling, vodka pushing, skoal dipping, middle aged men who were very happy to NOT have their wives about for the weekend. I think I could have written a sociology paper on my observations. Don't get me wrong, they were all great and I had my book for company when the "faggit" jokes got out of hand.

I think that I now understand why men have to get away from women and vice-versa. The men really DO have to act like high-school boys (especially if they were all athletes) and do wacky boy stuff (Don't tell them I called them boys. It might hurt their feelings). And make sure you have that bloody mary even if you told them no 10 times. And look sheepish when they remember a girl is in their midst. I assured them that I could probably embarrass them with my bawdiness, so they should relax and be themselves. They finally were and I retreated to the safety of the van, my book and the air mattress....only to have dreams about girls kissing...Go figure.

Very Interesting

It's no secret that I engage in online personals. I met a couple of guys when I lived in St. Louis via Match.com and also had a couple of encounters here with the same service. I think, though, that I have found the secret to online dating, or whatever you want to call it: Don't put down too much information. Odd, huh?

When I was on Match, I spent a lot of time trying to convey in 1,000 characters or less who I was, what I was looking for and all that blather. It was very important to me to not present myself in a false light. Well, I just didn't have much luck with that tack. I met a couple of nice guys, but I was not even given the time of day by quite a few that probably wouldn't have minded going out with me. And, in the usual female way, I took it personally and somehow figured that I wasn't good enough. Forget this online dating thing!!!! Besides, all I wanted was to get out, meet some nice guys and, possibly, strike up a romance. Not too much to ask, is it?

In a fit of pique, I changed services to Yahoo personals. I had one photo of myself that I liked and I filled out the "About Me" multiple choice section honestly and the "About Him" section honestly without being too picky (I mean, a college grad under 47 who doesn't smoke really isn't too much to ask for). I wrote a two sentence description saying that I'm hardworking, I like to hike, talk and listen to NPR and threw caution to the wind.

I have had a much higher percentage of guys contact me. It's crazy! And the best part is that they are all, pretty much, in my age range (I was married to someone 11 years older than me, I have no desire to date someone that old now--I was also spoiled by dating someone 6 years younger than me most recently and have an appreciation for the Non-Viagra set).

In the past 5 days I have been on two "get to know you" dates and there's a second date (maybe it's a REAL date) coming up in the next couple of weeks. So, if any of you out there are thinking of trying the online personals, Less is more. But you have to post a photo. A lot of guys automatically think that you are either 800 lbs or are hiding some kind of disfigurement when you don't have a photo.

Advice from a successful online dater.

Well...Poo

I got a call from my boss on the movie today. It was put on hiatus. The director, who is also a screenwriter, would like to make sure the script is as good as it can get before we continue. Since he's also working on another project at the moment, ours has to be put on hold. It's the nature of the beast. I know that I'll be back on it as soon as it starts up again, so I'm not worried. Besides, this project just fell into my lap. Others will, too. In the meantime, I can take that fishing trip with my brother and possibly get out to WCU to talk to the students about Stage Managing. I might also get to SM Porgy & Bess with the Asheville Ballet. So, not great news, but not devastating, either. It's good to be able to be not stressed out about it.

Demented Panda Bear Yard

Vehicle Observations

So, I have this new car, a Chevy Trail Blazer. It's cool. No big bells or whistles or anything and it drives well. I think that I might end up with a speeding ticket before this is over...I'm not used to a V8 engine and "Little Connie Leadfoot" may just push the limit one too many times.

Anyway, I went to the grocery store yesterday (it being Sunday and all) and as I got to my car (Truck, what have you) I realized that the only way to get into the car with a key was at the driver's door. (This car doesn't have a key fob that automatically unlocks all the doors or the trunk from 50 feet away.) In order to put my groceries in the back I have to balance the cart against the car (it's Asheville, very few parking lots are level), open the driver's door, hit the unlock button (which unlocks everything), close that door, go around the car and open the back. Now it is very likely that I'm missing something in the process...like there is a lock on the back somewhere that I can't find. But I don't think so.

It called attention to the fact that manufacturers are catering completely to electronic/remote using single drivers who have no manners. What do I mean by "no manners"? Well, you see, when I have a passenger, I am courteous and unlock that door first before going around to open mine. Since there is no keyhole on the passenger side of this particular vehicle, I have to leave that person standing out in the weather while I go around, unlock my door and electronically open all the other doors. Am I the only one in the world who opens the passenger door first?

Carsick

Who knew that a person could get carsick while driving? I feel like such a wimp. The car I'm driving while scouting and shooting needs to be a 4-wheel drive. So I got a Toyota 4-Runner. Big mistake! It's a great car, but it has what is called "body roll". I don't know what that is, exactly, but it's like being in the back of the bus while going on curvy roads...or it's like being seasick. I was miserable on Monday and Tuesday! It took me until Tuesday night to figure out that it was the car and not me. I thought that I might have to give up the job because I couldn't handle feeling so awful. Today I traded it in for a Chevy Trail Blazer and, while I'm still recuperating from the past two days, I didn't feel like I needed to hurl every 10 miles or so.

So, yes. It's possible to make yourself carsick while driving. Go figure.

The Thing About Locations is...

Locations.

You see, if the scene calls for the main character to decide to go climb down a steep hill under a bridge and get stuck in the mud and scramble up the other side, I have to take pictures of what I think might work for that scene. Sounds easy, right? Only I have to take pictures from the top of that steep hill, from the middle of that steep hill, from the bottom of that steep hill, and so on. From all angles. So, you might say, I've already experienced what the actor might experience long before the cameras roll (only I didn't get muddy--I did slip a couple of times,though).

Here are a couple of interesting shots I too while under bridges...ever feel like a troll?


No mud here...



I couldn't climb up this side, so I had to go back the way I came.

A New Film

Well, I just got a call out of the blue about working Locations on a new film. I have since taken the job, so look for more pics of places I've gone scouting and fun set shots.

Now for the BIG NEWS: The movie is A Walk In the Woods based on the book by Bill Bryson. The BIGGER NEWS: It's being produced by Robert Redford and directed by Chris Columbus. It's pretty big league. I'm excited and will keep you all posted as much as I can.

The Coyote and the Woodpecker

From a Native American Myth:

Coyote, who is too clever for his own good, found himself stuck in a hollow log. Along came Woodpecker who started peck, peck, pecking on the log. Coyote complained and complained about the noise that Woodpecker was making. "Stop all that racket!" Coyote said, but Woodpecker did not hear and kept pecking away. Finally, Woodpecker pecked a small hole into the log, letting in a little light. Coyote realized at that moment that Woodpecker could help him and started yelling, "Get me out of here!" This frightened Woodpecker and he flew away. Coyote became very quiet and still and, eventually, Woodpecker flew back to the log and continued pecking. After a while Woodpecker pecked through the log and freed Coyote.

The moral: That which irritates us could well be out salvation.

The noise of Woodpecker irritated Coyote. When Coyote realized that Woodpecker could help him he scared Woodpecker away in his desperation. Finally, when he became still and patient, Woodpecker freed him from the log.

Liberation irritates the parts of us that keep us stuck.

Beautiful things

I realized over the course of the past couple of months that I like giving myself flowers every week or so. It started out with some flowers in the house for Thanksgiving and then Gerber Daisies for Christmas. Now, I realize that I have had fresh flowers (not including the jungle of plants in the living room) in my home since then. This week it's 20 pink and red tulips. Eleven Bucks! That's all it took to make my space a little nicer and happier (we won't discuss the pile of stuff on the dining room table waiting for me to finish a couple of different art projects). It's such a joy to see them every day and know that I'm doing this tiny thing that makes me so happy, especially in this winter weather. I wish it would either get warmer or snow! This cold is not so much fun.

I Love My Job...Revisited

Aquila Theatre came to the DWT last Friday, Saturday & today. They are a fantastic company of British and American actors who do the classics. Last year they did Hamlet & Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde and this year they did Canterbury Tales and Romeo & Juliet.

Canterbury Tales were quite good, but R&J was superb! I have never seen one so good. What is the best about this particular production is that there are 6 actors, and the audience picks who plays who. Saturday's production had a woman as Romeo, a woman as Juliet (there are only 2 women in the company) and men as Lady Capulet and Nurse. All played multiple parts. I know the play well and I still cried at the end. I was in awe of the mastery of character and language these actors possess.

It was all very minimal (as you would guess with only 6 actors) and just perfect. The set was a 20 foot wooden octagon center stage and black chairs on the sides of the stage with props and and costumes (natural colored muslin pieces over black boots, black pants and black poets shirts). The balcony scenes were so well done. The actors delivered all the lines down stage with Romeo farther down stage than Juliet, who was only 6 inches higher but had a chair to use. I never for a minuted doubted that they were gazing into each other's eyes.

And I got to watch it and get paid, too.

Life is good